and once again.

so chris decide to send me another message after that last time i told him off. and hes acting so normal the subject says call me and i open the message he says "what have u been doin". idk im just tired of dealing with his ass now, i mean if he woulda sent this message two weeks ago i woulda been happy as shit, wondering && analyzing everyy word and tryna figure out something stupid and meaningless. hmm.. like last time he messaged me , which was a month ago, and he was just talking dumb bullshit bout he misses me why did i change my number and to call him. wow that shit really mest me up had me thinkin bout his ass all week i was even nervous just writing back to him , i missed him so much i just wanted to give in. idk why but i always notice just as soon im doing good and leaving his ass behind he always finds a way & pops back up and complicates everything and i lose track of everything and my emotions go up and down like crazy. but idk this time is diffrent i feel as if he didnt message me at all, i dont feel like writing back.. i already thought about it.. but naw theres no point, he's still the same. and he cant give me what i need from him. so i just gotta keep it moving. he's still tryna play games and im not tryna fall back into the hole that i just climbed back up from im not fallin for him and his lies again. im not sayin im over him bcuz im pretty sure im not but idk i just feel i gotta accept it and deal with. i cant make him change his mind about the situation and he wont change mine, he really let me know how he felt so for me to keep trying after he says im nothing to him is just stupid on my part. so im letting go. i still miss him but the 'lonely' feeling doesnt hurt me as bad like before. i know i will miss him later but i just wish we could just go back to friends but i know thats not possible i cant be just friends with him :(
maybe someday we can, but not rite now; lol i'll just fall back in theres still too many feelings on my side. hmm this got me thinking why did he message me tho? like forreal. the message seemed so basic.. i decided to go see who else he messaged so i logged on his myspace, but he only messaged me n this other girl he just told her "hit up yo boy" *eye roll* or sum stupid shit like that so im not worried about that. hes lameee. his shit seemes so stupid now. hes worthless i other words trash*. so i feel like deleting all his shit from my phone his pics his old text messages (i've had his old text messages on my phone for like 3 straight months, evrytime my inbox fills up i delete evryone elses but his, and idk why im doing all this i dont even read them anymore i just dont wanna delete them)and his number even tho i kno it by heart. im fine with keeping him on myspace as a friend tho idc cuz i dont go on myspace like that and i mean im not angry at him like before so i think its whatevrs on myspace. its not like im gonna start messaging him n shit cuz im not but just in case i ever wanna contact him n see how hes doin i kno hes on my friends list cuz im not planning on giving him my new number. i dont feel the need to completely let him out of my life. but from everything else that isnt myspace.. uhh yeah he has to go. so im not even gonna post about his dumbass this is ridiculous like forreal wtf? it's like this whole blog is a dedication to him! its all about him, not me . smh, that's allll i ever talk about. but thats done.. i hope. he's no good hes worthless & useless. lol && its just funny to me cuz i've known that all this time but i still wanted to hold onto him n keep him knowing hes not shit. oh well i dont anymore and i need to take out the trash ;)
hehe