Running out of strenght & patience.

ughhh i cant believe this but i cant get him off my mind for a couple days now. And it's killing me i feel guilty for what happend somehow i feel like this was all my fault im jus missing him soo much right now. And i know it's not my fault and im seriously tired of moping around bcuz of him and bitching about him too but theres nothing else going through my mind.. just him. So it's all i gotta say is about him. i have been trying to be strong and not go look at his myspace cuz once i do i just know how tempted i'll be to log into it and see what hes been up to. but it's really not a healthy thing for me to do. I'll just end up back in square one. i wonder if hes tried to call me?.. hmm idk since i got a new number. i just want to know. Is it possible hes completely forgotten about me now? i mean yes he has alot of females he talks to so its not like hes like me with noone to talk to rite now, so he probably doesnt even notice the difference without me, since we were drifting apart anyways. i seriously feel like just go look at his profile and see from the outside.. but i dont trust myself. And am soo scared of more feelings rushing back to me. i wonder if he regrets anything.. probably not though. i seriously wish i could just get trough to him. im tired of daydreaming of him messaging me asking for forgiveness and showing up at my house to try to talk to me again.. but i guess if he hasnt done it he isnt concerned with it and im soo sure hes moved on. i just have so many questions going on through my mind is he still drinking and smoking weed everyday?, is he working now?, who is he talking to?, does he have a girlfriend?.. ughhh its killing me im just hoping i dont give in and go check :[